Snow Dawn
by dorcas
Summary: They watched the snow dawn from the roof, disproving eachother's assumptions. A bit controversial, sorry! Friendship fic, BBRae.


**Disclaimer: **Me no own.

I thought I would do a Christmas one-shot to see how long seven and a half pages in a spiral notebook is transferred onto where it really counts. So far it seems it won't be as long as I thought it would be. Oh well. I'll just cheat by pressing the space bar twice, 'cause yes, I'm just that evil. This is such a controversial subject! Sorry to anyone who's offended or something. I know they're both a bit OOC but I tried, and I don't write much anyway. Here goes!

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Raven liked sunrises more than sunsets. For one thing, "dawn" was a prettier word than "dusk". Also, everyone else liked sunsets. Was it because they meant bedtime wasn't much farther off, or because they were the thing to proclaim your adoration for if you wanted t o pose yourself as a hopeless romantic? Boys would choose sunsets to seem impressively sensitive; girls would choose them to be traditional. It only helped a lot that sunsets always tented to be pretty-- or as Starfire would say, "tremendously splendorous".

It wasn't that she picked sunrises just because it went against the cliche; the stereotypical goth would announce her admiration for the most grisely things in order to protect her reputation as ferociously nonconformist. She liked to believe herself above petty people such as those.

What was special about the sunrise was that you couldn't predict it. If you woke up the exact same time each day and expected the exact same lighting each morning, it wouldn't work out. You have to wait for the blue to get out first, the clouds that get in the way, and those are different every day. The other thing about sunrises was that her liking for them was her only optimistic characteristic, as far as she knew. With sunsets, it was an ephermal, fleeting beauty that signified the death of the day. It was an ending, a finish. But with sunrises it was beginning, the start with something grand an fresh, something that would eventually ease into normalcy.

Sometimes she wouldn't get up early enough to sit on the roof and wait for it. Other times she would, but she'd forget about it, rush upstairs to the top and glare at the cheating morning glory sun that never waited for _her_ for once, an lament that she'd missed it silently. And sometimes there would be no sunrise; the clouds wouldn't clear till midday, and when the sun grinned down she'd grumble.

Today she'd gotten up early enough but knowing there wouldn't be one. It was December, and it seemed Jump City would be getting know this year. A strange occurance, but a welcome one; she'd ben told snow only happened here once a decade or so. She'd never seen a snow day dawn before, because she'd never seen a snow day. She supposed New Yorkers took it for granted, this fluffy wet stuff, but now as she let it float on her she couldn't help marvelling at it. Azarath never had snow. She stuck out her hand from under her cloak and allowed a flake to land on it, gasping at the sudden coldness.

"You always up this early?"

Raven jolted, but subtly. She was taken completely by surprise, but that didn't mean Beastboy could be permitted to know of it. Slowly she retracted her hand back inito her cloak and glanced over her shoulder at him, in a gesture similar to a beckoning. And maybe because he was an opportunist, although she mentally reproached herself for dishing out lables so readily, he waddled over in his penguin form and stood beside her.

"Not always."

"Wha?" He'd transformed back into himself again, and she noticed the Ninja Turtle blanket on his shoulders, now wet since it had been trailing behind on his way here.

"I'm not always up this early. Sometimes I forget, and those are the days I pick on you for no reason, since I missed the dawn." She said this unashamedly, but when she peeked to her right he had on his weirded out look, one eyebrow up. "Something I should know?"

"You're being awfully talkative for Raven. And honest." He put his finger to his chin.

"Since when is sincerity a fault?" She paused. If they started bickering now the remainder of the day would be the effet of it. "I'm talkative today because the setting is different."

"Nya?" That's him. The least amount of syllables possible the best.

"We never had snow on Azarath," she explained. "And we've never had snow here till now."

"When we were with Cole and stickin' it to Dr. Light it didn't matter to you."

"This is different. Snow is expected at the North Pole; Jump City is _coastal._ This isn't supposed to happen." She frowned. "What if a villain is doing this? How could snow be a part of his plan?"

He laughed. She glared; she'd been serious. "C'mon, just because it's really rare, and makes people happy, and could be called some sort of miracle doesn't mean you should be paranoid about it!" She watched the transparant stream of puffs escape his mouth. "Besides, Cy already scanned the city for anything resembling a weather machine. Didn't pick up anything."

"Don't talk about miracles to me."

"Why not?"

"Because they're not real."

"So what _do_ you believe in?"

That was sudden. Raven blinked. Beastboy had just asked a question that required something more than a sarcastic remark or comeback for an answer. She squinted at him. "What do you mean?"

He shifted his weight uncomfortably. The question had to have been planned, or else he wouldn't be looking so nervous. He must havew been curious for a long time, but only now since he was up so early and his fuzzy breain was processing things in a random order was he unfocused enough to let it slip out. What's more, she realized, she hadn't a prepared answer.

She sat down at the edge awkwardly and patted the spot next to her quietly. He sat. Twitched. "What do you assume I believe in?" She asked finally.

He flinched. "Umm... I dunno..."

"I won't be offended. I made some assumptions too."

"You go first then."

"You brought it up."

"I guess..." He watched his feet stretched out and clapping together distractedly. "At first, for a long time at least, I thought you might be into some branch off of Wicca." She snorted and he tucked his head into his chest bashfully. "It just seemed to fit, y'know?"

She narrowed her eyes. "As dark as me?"

"No. It has a lot to do with candles and spells and stuff, and a little of meditation, so I just figured.."

"..." Heck of an assumption. "Buddists meditate too."

"You're--? Really?" He seemed taken aback.

"No. But why shouldn't I be Buddist?"

"Because...um..." Just as she thought. He didn't even know what he was asking about. "Well Buddism is too peaceful for you. Or maybe that's the wrong word for yoou. Too boring. It might be ideal for controlling your emotions and stuff, but I think you're more dynamic than that."

She raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Me, exciting?"

He sat up defensively. "Well yeah! I mean you have to act all monotone on the outside cuz if you don't bad things'll hapen, yeah? But the inside of a person is never that _plain_. There's more to humans than that."

"I'm only half exciting, then."

"Th-that's not what I'm saying!" Now he was getting exhasperated/frustrated with her. She had to be more careful so as not to say things wrongly. "Jeez, what does your being half demon have anything to do with what you want to believe? What's your faith? You can have one, can't you?"

"What if I'm athiest," she challenged flatly, experimenting.

"Then I guess I'm sorry." She looked at him scrutinizingly. "What now?"

"I thought you were definitely athiest. Maybe mostly because you strick me as the type of person who'd rather focuse on what they see, what they believe is solid. Or maybe the type who doesn't care one way or another."

His ears twitched irritatedly. "Why wouldn't I care about what happens to me when I die?"

"Like I said, it was an assumption. A wrong one." She remembered something then, from the early days. A long time ago. "This is a bit too personal, but you said you got your powers in Africa when you were young. Were you born there or are you a preacher's kid?"

He stiffened. "My parents were scientists."

"...sorry." He'd never explicitely stated he was an orphan. "But how can you not be athiest, since your parent's didn't--?"

"Just because you're a scientist doesn't mean you can't believe in a higher power. And anyway, I don't rememeber what they believed. Guess it doesn't matter."

A beat or so later RAven was feeling like she should lighten the mood. "Wonder if Robin goes with Bushido?" Sure id didn't exactly count as a spiritual belief, but it was a set of rules to live on'es life by and that was religion put simply, wasn't it? But Beastboy was already in the rigigly serious mood.

"You know what really lets me believe in something up there?" Now he was staring past his feet into the ociean. "You do."

Couldn't say she was expecting that. She stared blankly at him. "Explain."

"Gotta be a little more polite for that." Grin.

"Very well. I implore thee." Rolling of the eyes on both sides.

"Ya know how you're a demon and all?" Blank stare. "Right. Well when it was the Not-End of the World there were all those other not as human looking demons there we were fighting, and Trigon, too, and I got thinking; if there are demons out there, aren't there angels too? Y'know, just t'be fair. And if there's Trigon, the manifestation of evil, shouldn't there be some sort of manifastation of good? Who kept him from getting here before the Not-End, anyway?

"All I'm saying is, um... I dunno."

Raven was quietly going over his theory. "That might be all right, but the existance of evil doesn't prove the existance of good. If all of us," she said, sweeping her hand over the tower to gesture to the Titans as a group, "were to disappear, that wouldn't mean Slade would too." He looked disappointed, so she went on. "But since we're already on existance, what about that one example theists keep bringing up? They say that if no one disagrees with the act that a painting definetely has a painter, no one should disagree with the notion that the world has a creator."

"That's bogusly simple."

"Philosophy's like that sometimes. Can be pretty bitchy."

"Robin says not to cuss."

"Only in front of the press."

By now the snow was sticking magnificantly and the roof was nearly white behind them. They were at the very edge and Raven didn't want to look before it was complete, because the whole experiance would be spoiled. But already, with the graying sky, she felt her mood foulen with it and the conversation. She looked out toward the shore wistfully, but without expression. "What do you think, Beastboy; will I go to Hell or Heaven?"

To her surprise, he answered almost immediately. "If id depends on which religion is the right one, I wouldn't know that, but if it depended on character you're definitely goin' through the Golden Gates."

"How can you be so sure?" Her tone had dropped and her voice had gone dry quickly. It had turned out as a seriouls talk after all; she didn't dare look to her right, where he sat bobbing his head to help him think. What he said would be crucial.

"'Cause you're that nice, even if you're mean." And he said it so simply!

"But I'm a demon!"

"You said yourelf you're _half_ demon."

"Half demons don't go to Heaven."

"So God'll make an exception."

"I don't think I trust him to do that," she said voice wavering. There was heat behind her eyes, not the kind that warned her of Rage's appearance, but of her own wretched wetness threatening to spill over. "For me there can be no Jehovah, no Muhammed and certainly no precious Jesus," she spat, "Not even the free pagan gods will receive me."

"Feeling left out?"

"You have no idea."

"Do animals go to Heaven?"

She stared. She couldn't help it. "I'm...not sure..." In truth, it probably depended on the religion. Did Jews believal all pigs go to Hell? She mused to herself and feeling him look at her expectantly finally admitted, "I don't know. It doesn't matter. You're not an animal, evein if you turn into them every few seconds."

Breifly he morphed a baboon just for randomness' sake, but when he came back he said, "I'm serious."

"So was I."

"What if because my DNA is infused with this ability, I'm dumped into the animal category based on what I am rather than who I am?"

She narrowed her eyes. "You're redirecting my own offensive statements against yourrself so that my defending you I'd be defending myself, aren't you?" Sneaky little... He grinned cheekily.

"Guilty as charged." She looked down at her hand in her thighs unreadably, which meant she was still depressed. He recalled one more thing. "Ah! I read once."

"One would hope so."

"No really, I was reading the Bible." This provoked a less than impressed response. "It was just in a motel I was in before the Titans! I was bored," he pouted. "Anyway, I was reading Isaiah because it's a cool name and most of it was boring , but there was one part that stuck with me." He paused and flickered his eyes upwards in the manner of people recalling something from far back. "65:25 says, 'The wolf and the lamb shal feed together, and the lion shall eat straw like the bull; dust shall be the serpent's meat. They shall not hunt nor destroy in all my holy mountain,' saith the Lord."

"Deep." All nonsense was what she thought.

"It all sounded dumb to me too, y'know, 'cause I've been a real wolf and the instints areall there. Humans they know are off limits unless they're really really sick, 'cause then they don't know any better, they can't but other animals are for them."

"Thought that grosses you out."

"It does, but for them they have to 'cause eating plants all the time would make 'em sick. Humans have a choice. " He made a face illustrating his disgust.

"Get to the point."

"Right, well this way it would apply to you too, Rae! See, the way people thought about wolves back then, they were the bad guys. But in that chapter of Isaiah God was like, talking about how it would be in Heaven and stuff. So the wolf was in Heaven too, and friends with the good guy. And I was thinking, just because the wolf was a wolf must not have meant he wasn't allowed to get it.

"Demons are fallen angels, right? And fallen angels are just rebel angels. If you made right with God, I bet he'd letcha back in."

"It's not that simple," she muttered. "And even if it was, why should I want to get into Heaven?"

"You want to see Trigon again for the rest of you afterlife?"

"No!"

"Then knock it off," he said softer than before. "Quit making excuses."

"They're all hypocrites. It's an eternal idiosyncracy, a completely hyprocritical religion. You can't trust it. No one can. They're all just a bunch of white yuppies desperate to make themselves look good and above all the wars they started in the first place. Stupid. Wasn't Hitler a Catholic?!"

"I took History after Mad Mod too! He founded _Nihilism,_ Raven, tell me what that is!:

"A..." Her furrowed eyebrows raised an lowered, and she looked away again, out to the sea. "A denial of all faith and in extreme cases all existance of anything."

He huffed, arms crossed over his chest, and kicked his legs out impulsively. "I thinks you can get into Heaven if you knock hard enough before ya get taken out. Even in ya call yerself a half demon."

"Demons aren't redeemed, no matter how much we want to be."

"But you want to."

"If it means being in the same place as you forever, then--" Here it was, she was such a bitch sometimes, she'd say she'd rather rot in Hell, flesh scorched and eyes melted, all saliva evaporated and hope evanescenced... "--then, of course I do!"

He whipped his head around and looked at her straight in the eyes. She'd temporarily gone slack-jawed, bringing her fingers up to her lips in disbelief. What was that? How did that happn? What's going on?

"Whatcha sayin'?"

Whatcha sayin', Rae? What had made her stop thinking? She was just so cold, so unused to the frigidity, her brain must be working sluggishy. "N-not...not you," Her throat croaked. Great, Raven, now make it sound believable. She cleared her throat. "I meant all of you, everyone here, you know that."

He was silently smug. "Whatever ya say, Rae." And the snow had gone all the way through his blanket, she saw, and when she looked over her shoulder there was a sheet, thin but building up, and so gorgeous, so glorious as Starfire would say correctly. Thousands and millions of flying specks so delicate pile up to surround them all, and it was grand. She stood up.

"We should go wake Starfire up. Help her get dressed for this."

He nodded. "Yeah..." When he stood up and shook off his blanket she had to remove her hood to wipe off the slush from her face. She looked down at her leotard and he smiled. "Come to think of it, you should change too."

"I guess," she shrugged and slowly started toward the door nonchalantly, but nearly slipped and he had to hold her hand like a real friend would, and his gloves had always been so warm. They took it step by step the rest of the way.

"Hey Rae?"

"Nn."

"...who's your favorite Ninja Turtle?"

OWARI

(FINALLY!!)

_A/N: So I guess seven and a half pages is enough for a decently sized chapter, I guess. Remember the only two times I had to type "Trigon"? I SO BADLY wanted to type "Trigun " instead! I think that's where I'll head next..._


End file.
